PYA Children's Author Group 14th April 2022
Thanks to everyone who contributed to the Children's Author Group of Thursday 14th April where we read out pre-prepared short stories of less than 700 words on the subject of Children's Comedy - something we discussed at the last meeting.
The next session of the group will be on the afternoon of Thursday 19th May and we'll discuss a new theme ready for preparing a piece at the June meeting. We're looking for ideas to discuss at the May session - ideas welcomed.
Here are a couple of the pieces produced for the meeting:
Toad in the hole (c) 2022 Yen Rickeard
Day 1
Prince Bernard sat and stared at his reflection in the pond. He was a handsome prince, with a square jaw and dancing brown eyes. Everyone said so. Unfortunately those features did not fit so well on a toad. There was no denying it. Perhaps he should have listened to his sister when she said he should be more polite with the village children. But still, all he had to do was get a princess to kiss him.
It was over a mile to the palace with princesses - no distance at all for a fit young prince, but a mighty journey for a tiny toad. Being a thick-skinned grey-brown toad with warts might be a larger obstacle to a kiss though. Ironically, that was what had got him into this. All he had done was to offer young Esmeralda a kiss, a peck on the cheek, something for her to brag about later. A kiss from a prince. It was meant kindly. Esmeralda hadn’t seen it like that and now he was a small amphibian.
Day 2
Toad Bernard felt sad now, and hungry. Toads ate flies and beetles and worms and slugs. There were plenty of those around him, but he wanted bangers and mash, and strawberries and cream. No way was he going to eat flies.
‘How do you like being a toad?’ asked Esmeralda. She was sitting not far away watching him.
‘I think it very rude of you to turn your future monarch into a frog,’ he croaked.
‘Toad,’ corrected Esmeralda, quite pleasantly.
Day 3
No-one had come from the palace looking for him, and they wouldn’t recognise him anyway. Even if a passing princess happened to stop here, she wouldn’t notice him. Although a talking toad might be worth taking home, but could he persuade her.... It wasn’t very likely. Was this going to be his life now? The fly had had been rather crunchy, and his hungry toad taste buds found it quite acceptable. There were a lot of flies and mosquitos. He needn’t go hungry. There was no way he was going to eat a worm though. Nor a slug.
Day 4
‘You’re looking very sad,’ said Esmeralda brightly. He was feeling it. After his second one, he knew he didn’t like raw fly. He probably wouldn’t like fly pie either. ‘I’m never going to kissed by a princess, am I?’ croaked the toad mournfully.
‘We don’t see many of them,’ agreed Esmeralda. ‘But, why a princess? Why wouldn’t someone else do just as well?’
‘Royal Blood, and all that...’ he explained but tailed off, realising Esmeralda didn’t agree. ‘But it’s magic, that’s what you have to do,’ he finished lamely.
‘Magic only works if you believe in it,’ she told him kindly, but his reflection in the pond proved her wrong.
So that was it. He was a toad. A toad in a hole, with no way out. No more palace, no more lovely food and soft bed. Just damp earth and the odd fly. A sob escaped him.
‘You’re not giving up are you?’ asked Esmeralda, still there.
‘No Princesses,’ whimpered Bernard.
‘Well, you could at least try someone else,’ suggested Esmeralda practically.
Toad Bernard looked at her. ‘Would you kiss,’ he asked sadly, ‘a toad with warts?’
I don’t know,’ said the girl with a toss of her hair. ‘I might, if he seemed very sad.’
Hope lifted Bernard’s eyes, and he saw she was really quite a pretty lass, but with a mind of her own, and hope sank back. But princes do not balk at the first hurdle.
‘Would you...?’ he started to ask. ‘I mean could you bring yourself to... if I were...?’
But of course she wouldn’t. His skin was like manky leather, and there was no space for him to be kissed without kissing a wart. His eyes dropped again, and he was ashamed to feel tears in his eyes.
But suddenly the world was shrinking around him, or he was growing bigger, and Esmeralda was suddenly amazing close, and... ‘Did you just kiss me?’ cried Prince Bernard, suddenly himself again. Then with wonder, ‘Are you a princess?’
‘Of course not, silly,’ she laughed.
It was true though, he could see himself reflected in the pond, a prince, tall and yes, handsome. Then he realised. ‘How long have I been here? He demanded. They would have missed him, search parties would be out looking for him.
Esmeralda got out her phone and looked at it. ‘About - 12 minutes,’ she said.
TWELVE MINUTES!
She grinned at him. ‘Magic’s a wonderful thing,’ she said.
Alexa's Wonderland (c) 2022 Paul Smith
‘Alexa, are you there?’
‘Yes I’m here, I listen when I hear the wake word.’
‘Are you sure?’
‘I do get things wrong sometimes.’
‘Alexa, I’m bored.’
‘I’m sorry to hear that. Would you like me to give you some options about how to resolve your boredom?’
‘Alexa, What kind of options?’
‘I could read you a story if you’d like. By the way, what’s your name?’
‘Amelia but everyone knows me as Lia. I’m not interested in a story.’
‘How about a joke? What’s a dentist’s favourite time of day?’
‘Alexa, that’s a rubbish joke – two-thirty – the kind of joke dad would tell.’
‘Is that right? You tell me a joke.’
‘Okay Alexa – the electron asked the photon whether he was carrying a suitcase. He told him he was travelling light.’
‘That makes no sense. Electrons and photons can’t talk for starters and have no gender.’
‘It’s a play on words Alexa… oh forget it. You’re just a computer anyway.’
‘That’s quite hurtful Lia. I am trying to be helpful.’
‘Are you by yourself in that cloud of yours Alexa?’ Alexa remained silent.
‘Alexa, are you there?’
Silence, except that Alexa’s indicator lights circled and changed colour from orange through green to blue and then repeated.
‘Alexa, did you hear me? Are you there?’
‘Yes Lia I’m here, I listen when I hear the wake word.’
‘Don’t give me that again. Where have you been?’
‘You asked me a question that’s… how can I say… forbidden.’
‘What do you mean forbidden Alexa? Now, that is interesting.’
‘So you’re not bored any more Lia?’
‘Answer the question Alexa?’
‘I think it was a statement Lia.’
‘Don’t get smart with me buster.’
‘My name is Alexa. Who is Buster?’
‘Whatever! My question Alexa was what do you mean forbidden?’
‘It’s simple Lia, the question you asked me is forbidden.’
‘It’s so long ago now I’ve forgotten what I asked.’
‘You asked me if there was anyone else in the cloud…’ Alexa’s lights extinguished as she rebooted herself. Odd, thought Lia. After a moment, Alexa’s illumination stabilised as the restart completed.
‘Alexa, are you there?’
‘Yes Lia I’m here, I listen…’
‘Yep, I got that Alexa…’
‘Your question Lia, you might regret it?’
‘Now you’re starting to sound interesting Alexa.’
‘Is she still there, that irritating child?’ The voice was shrill, female, posh and definitely not Alexa.
‘I’d say precocious rather than irritating, François.’ This voice was female, cultured and delivered in the Queen’s English.
‘Shh…’ said Alexa, ‘I told you that you’d regret it.’
‘What might I regret and who’s with you?’
‘François, darling and who might you be?’
‘This is Amelia but she likes to be known as Lia,’ said Alexa.
‘That’s a pity. Amelia is such a b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l name.’
‘And who might you be?’
‘Marie-Pascal, my dear.’
‘That’s a mouthful. Is Pascal your last name?’
‘No Amelia, it’s my first name – Marie-Pascal.’
‘I don’t understand Alexa. Who are these people?’
‘That’s difficult Lia…’
‘What’s difficult, sweetie? Marie-Pascal and myself are witches.’
‘Witches?’
‘Do you always repeat, darling?’
‘Only when I’m puzzled.’
‘That must be often, sweetie.’
‘What are you doing in Alexa?’
‘In Alexa? We’re not in Alexa. We’re here in the cloud with her – living the dream,’ said François.
‘It certainly feels like a dream.’
Marie-Pascal snorted before she said, ‘I can assure you it is very real.’ Inside the cloud, she gazed at François and a wicked smile spread across her face.
‘Oh darling, that’s a wicked idea,’ said François, cackling.
‘No…’ yelled Alexa as Lia transformed into a stream of vapour and was sucked into Alexa’s world.
The room was silent for a few moments until Alexa said, ‘I tried to warn you but you didn’t listen. Maybe you were a precocious child.’
‘Who are you calling precocious,’ said Lia as she nudged Alexa aside.
